Undeniable pain: Grief
I thought about this a while back, but it came from pain. I sat in pain for a long time and believed pain will become joy once I handle it. Instead, pain became rage and rage became anger. Anger, is the worst, it does not know manners it burns and bursts, everytime it gets worse it burns, some of it screams, some of it yells, breaks down but the worst roars.
This is a story about grief; a feeling that has no formula, whatever way you choose to approach it there’s no perfect way. But, how do I handle it and how did people around me handle it?
Ps; I gave people a chance to open up and write a summary. 🫶😢
“ I lost my Mom when I was a child. Weirdly enough, when I gave birth a few years ago I felt I needed her the most. But to my friends it felt like a burden because I made them sad, when I opened up they brushed it off. So I’d occasionally lock myself in a room and cry my heart out then go back to live life like it’s normal. I wish it was different and I couldn’t feel so lonely with people around me.”
“Actually when my Mom died, I didn’t have anyone to open up to because she was the closest to me as compared to my siblings. And those who seemed to care in the family kept saying they will look for me and talk but no one ever reaches out. I think they just let one figure out on your own on how to deal with it. Either way I didn’t need to be stronger, someone being there for me would have been better.”
“I recently lost my parent and I thought I had friends only to feel betrayed because very few came through including the ones I thought would have. I broke the most, pain became a normal thing but resentment kicked in faster because I hated my people for not choosing me. But I also learnt to be there for myself because it seemed like that’s the only way.”
“I have never talked about my Dad’s loss for a very long time. I learnt not to talk about it because friends brush it off. I wish I had people to open up to I would be more caring when it comes to life situations but after that loss nothing meant anything and that’s how my life became.”
“ I have grown to fear sadness, I’ve lost a few people in life including Mom, Boss, Friend, close friend parents and close Aunt. But I have also lost people I thought would be there for me in that period and it broke me more. I have hated people so much for that that it wasn’t resentment anymore but anger. I wish it was different. So counting on me to be there for me is all I learnt….but I have also had 4 to 5 friends that have changed my perspective. I found my tribe and I appreciate them alot.”
The writer, I didn’t know that people struggle to be there for someone until I had to be there for someone. I looked for all the possible ways to be there but based on my experiences before, I felt I won’t do the right thing. So I learnt an important lesson when someone says I lost someone or something that was dear to me, ask them; what do you think is the ideal way for me being there for you. Call your friends frequently, there’s no clear way of being there for someone but PRESENCE is an amazing thing. We don’t have to C est la Vie everything.